Hey y’all. I know it’s been a looong time since I updated this blog. I don’t really have any excuses, other than general laziness. I keep meaning to write, but the sheer length of time since I last wrote intimidates me. How do you describe in full all those months? I simply can’t. But what I can do is give you some “snapshots,” the memories that stand out to me of the time since training began. Hopefully, combined with my Facebook updates and photos, this will give you a taste of life in Peace Corps Kenya.

Training:

-Being introduced to my host mama, baba, and kaka (brother).

-Watching the World Cup on my baba’s 10-inch TV and watching the US-Algeria game in Makuti’s with all the other volunteers.

-Waka waka eh eh.

-Walking to class with those amazing views of Kili looming in the near distance.

-Being told by Mary and Silvia of all these terrible parasites that Kenya has but not being told where in Kenya these parasites live (fortuately, mango flies seem to live only in South Coast).

-Bukusu classes at the Catholic church with Brian S. and Elizabeth… and our very… what’s the word…. unique teacher Abby.

-Choco-bisc: Egypt’s most addictive export (after “tahrir” of course); the closet thing to it would be a thin-mint Girl Scout cookie, minus the mint. I’m still convinced Rebecca’s mom owns a lot of Choco-bisc stock.

-Being escorted home my first week by small children who muttered to each other (in English) “Let’s take his money! I bet he has a nice phone.” I wasn’t sure I’d make it out of that cornfield alive.

-That time I almost walked all the way to Tanzania with Brianne.

-All the other times I got lost.

-My mama’s delicious homecooking: githeri (beans and corn), matoke (cooked bananas), ugali (a cooked mass of maize flour), sukuma-wiki (a kind of spinach), catchumbari (red onions, tomatoes, and pili-pili [red peppers]). If I turned my head for even a second, Mama would slip more food onto my plate. As soon as I finished seconds, she’d insist on my having thirds, and then fourths…. Also her endless cups of chai, of which at least 8 cups a day were obligatory. “Ok, yes, I will take chai.”

-My embarrassment when my stomach proved unable to tolerate Kenyan boiled meat and Baba’s response, referencing the previous volunteers they had stay with them: “It is ok. Nicole threw up when she ate meat. Gregory threw up. (Five second pause) Even Nemo, he throw up.” Half of Baba’s stories were based on that framework. I’m sure my name will be added in there when they get their next volunteer.

-Arguing about Persian history and philosophy with Megan H.

-Eating delicious beef samosas at Saki and githeri at Kilimanjaro Cafe.

-My first taste of ORS (rehydration “beverage”).

-Discovering that Kenyans think the best thing to do when someone is sick is to go bother them and make sure they are never alone or resting.

-“Shots, shots, shots!” (Medical can do their worst, just so long as I get a mini-Twix bar afterward)

-Learning to wash and cook like a Kenyan mama (I still can’t do either as well as these ubermensch).

-That time my mama showed me a “shortcut” to Outward Bound. Over the river, through the woods and brambles and cornfields, up and down several mountain slopes past thickets where I could feel the beedy eyes of lions on my neck… all to dumped back on the main dirt road at the bottom of the first hill leading to Outward Bound (Total time saved: negative 10 minutes).

-Those days when I was able to catch a Peace Corps vehicle and waved to the poor schmucks trudging up the foothills of Kili towards Outward Bound.

-The Fourth of July party and all its awesomeness.

-The time Damon almost got eaten by a monkey.

-Louis’s hat with purple feather and his poems. The rest of us are simply outclassed in comparison.

-My first and only Pentacostal church experience. :Shudder: I tell people at site that I prefer to worship in my own way (without speaking in tongues for hours on end).

-Going into a bar to get Mama a Guiness because in Kenya, the only ladies who go into bars are jembes. Also Baba doesn’t approve of drinking. At least Mama has good tastes.

-Teaching my kaka David and his friend how to play UNO.

-My last week and a half in Loitokitok, when Baba bought a Frisian dairy cow that started mooing at 3AM, a good half-hour before the chickens usually started up.

-Brian Geyer’s Zebratastic shirt.

-The nervousness leading up to the final Language Placement Exam (LPI): “Novice High STRONG,” my ass…

-The farewell luncheon in Loitokitok.

-Our swearing-in ceremony, complete with REAL American Doritos; Ambassador Renneberger’s and Tom’s completely opposing speeches; a monkey that decided to ham it up for the cameras; and a group picture with my supervisor, Geoffrey Walmalwa.

As a PCV:

-The long Easy Coach ride to Webuye, looking at the often-breathtaking scenery of Rift Province.

-Being greeted by a drunk (or as the locals call them “a crazy man) and a bunch of obnoxious beseeching children immediately upon arrival in Webuye; pretty much a par for the course.

-Not being able to get to my house until the next day and being pleased by the electricity and gas cooker, less so by the distance from town and the large snake I found in the hall a few weeks later.

-First meeting with the MP (Member of Parliament) on my second day in the area and being told that my Bukusu name was “Wekesa,” because I was born during the harvest season.

-Meeting the husband and wife who own the house I live in (they live in Nairobi) when they came back home to vote in the referendum for a new katiba (constitution) on August 4.

-Having to wait almost a full month to have a meeting with my chief, in which he introduced me to the community and bestowed on me the name “Wafula,” because by the time he got around to introducing me, it was the season of the short rains.

-Trying to explain the internet to illiterate farmers (“like a cloud in the sky with books up there, and a computer is like a ladder that can help you reach those books”).

-Taking the “pole-pole” test at Cross-Sector in Kakamega.

-Meetings at the Constituency Development Fund (CDF) offices in Webuye on the Rural Internet Kiosk (RIK) project.

-Getting to know various people in the area.

-Being ok with being called “mzungu” for the first two months, then no longer responding to it or to any other high-pitched nasally talk, especially when coming from adults, who ought to know better. “HOWWW ARE YOUUUU?” Mzungu do NOT sound like that!

-Paige’s birthday party in Mumias.

-Chilling at Cheer’s (“where everybody knows your name”) with the other Webuye volunteers.

-Gathering info from the medical centre and other offices for the Community Needs Assessment (CNA).

-Becoming very frustrated by the unwillingness of government workers to retrieve the CNA information I asked for.

-My first trip to Kisumu and first Green Garden calzone (oh dairy products, how I miss thee…)

-Watching Inception and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt. 1 in theatres.

-Going back to Nairobi for In-Service-Training (IST).

-Toga party!

-Java House: salad, hamburgers, milkshakes, what more could you want?

-Learning the ins and outs of bunny farming in Thika.

-Discovering that I am only 42% white (according to “Stuff White People Like”).

-Buying an external hard drive (changed my life).

-Heading back to site after IST.

-Realizing that the RIK idea was completely unrealistic and getting my CBO to agree to work on getting a computer lab, which is cheaper and more sustainable.

-Being able to go a week without being asked for anything, and then having five people hit me up for money or “connections” in one hour.

-Having lots of time to read (and now a Kindle to read on!)

-All those times eating lunch at International House with the other half of “Team Awesome” (Brianne’s phrase).

-The time Ben, the owner of the nearest school, stopped by to give me a bunch of pills for malaria, headache, and diahrrhea because he heard I was sick.

-Finally being able to meet all the members of my CBO and actually get the ball rolling on some projects (“pole-pole” [slowly-slowly] is the unofficial Kenyan national motto).

-Birthday pancakes with real maple syrup, thanks to Jason, Brian S. and Elizabeth!

-Being Barney Stinson for Halloween at the One Acre Fund house in Kisumu. Jen: “Haaaave you met Michael?”

-Watching Nollywood movies with local kids: Take one part witchcraft and mix with two parts bad acting, one part Christian proselytizing and three parts random violence. Shake well and mutter a spell, then insert into your DVD player.

-Trying to explain Thanksgiving to my supervisor: “We all get together and eat turkey and cranberries from a can, and pumpkin pie and then we crash, because of the tryptophan in turkey…” “Oh, we do this because the Pilgrims… um… they ate with the Indians before they stole their… Uh, you know, we don’t really have a reason for it, it’s just a tradition.”

-Training five local youth working for my CBO in ICT, so that they can train others once we open our computer lab.

-Eating lunch, with chai and sugar cane for desert, at my friend and ICT trainee Eric’s house.

-Visiting my host family again just before Christmas.

-Killing brain cells watching “Jersey Shore.” “That’s a Situation!”

-Watching the sun rise over the Indian Ocean on Christmas morning.

-Getting a second-degree sunburn which made movement painful (thanks, Doxy!)

-One-upping the official Gede tour guide.

-Exploring Ft. Jesus with Megan H.

-New Year’s at 40 Thieves in Diani.

-Getting back to Webuye and finding out that the hostess at International House got run over by a motorcycle and died. I haven’t been back since.

-Blushing at the praise from CBO members when my APCD made a site visit.

-Frustration at the internet being too slow for me to watch Obama’s State of the Union.

-Plotting and scheming involving the computer lab and interminable waiting on the CDF for funding.

-Listening to BBC radio coverage of the revolutions in Tunisia and Egypt while washing dishes.

-Staying up all night to watch the Super Bowl with other PCVs, NGO workers, and the Walter Reed folks in Kisumu.

-Multiple doctors’ visits for my “zombie-itis” (mysterious epidermal allergic reaction).

-Eating AMAZING Ethiopian food at Abyssina in Nairobi with Jeff Burkholder.

-Teaching my first LIFESKILLS class this morning!

Hope you’ve enjoyed these highlights. My next post will cover a much shorter period of time, scouts honor!

Hatua kwa hatua,

Michael

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